oh wonderful achievin Tuesday.

So what is new you may ask?? .. .. well as some of you know i have been taking adult swim lessons twice a week. Which have been extremely painful. (emotionally that is) i am so not even kidding. Quite often if i think about it, my heart starts to race.. and the night before my lesson .. goodness i am a mess. My studmuffin says to me last night, "why don't you just quit. It isn't worth the stress!"

Hey!! that isn't very nice. But then my instructor asked me how i was feeling about the lessons today and i said, "Actually i hate them, i am so completely stressed the night before, that it is all i can do to come each time" She then too asked if maybe i should just come on my own time. (bahahah -translation, 'girlfriend, just quit')

Well i know i have been a nervous wreak .. and i know that it shouldn't make me so sick or so worried that i have physical pains! ((yikes)) And yeah, i know that as an adult i don't have to take or go to any lesson. I'm the adult!!!! goodness!!!! And seriously, if i got thrown in the lake.. i could swim to shore and push the guy in! haha...

BUT, for two years i have wanted to be at the pool taking lessons. Learning to breath and swim.. Not pretend .. nOt hold my breath until i had to tread water or return to the side lines! But actually swim .. maybe even with goggles!.. Oh goodness.. just the thought of putting goggles on sent me into such a panic state last night that i am pretty sure that is the reason hubby for his own sanity suggested the quiting.. hehe. BUT,, i signed up!! i am there!! it is not easy. i am not in a comfortable place. i feel bad that i am not at a happy place, but i want this. i will get this. It might take me weeks and weeks.. maybe months.. but i will stay with this. .. eventually i am going to get this... i will swim with all the right breathing techniques.

give me that dang paddle board

So after explaining that even though i didn't 'enjoy' my lessons, i was determined to continue. i was here and i am going to give it all i have until i can swim properly. (Stressed or not!)
It was then that my sweet instructor suggested we might work on strokes and bubbles...instead of kicking&breathing with just the board.

WHO KNEW!!!! "Pepsi, Cola, 7-up" could be so friggen fun?!?!?!?!?! goodness!!! i could cry writing this. What a break through!! i am by no ways good or have achieved greatness, But!!! i actually could make some decent strokes and get some short distances with strokes and blowing air in the water and coming up for air on the side!!!! My instructor said i had a three .. four and then an eleven count. lol But that i was making it work! .. haha

And for the first time of taking lessons... .. i feel so happy and excited.. ... Excited for my next swim lesson! Seriously... truly..really .. i am even more than ok with going again. i am actually looking forward to it. wow! .. .. A very heavy weight has been incredibly lightened. i think i will be taking up my sweet friends on their offers to swim laps with me. i now could go and actually practise with them!!!

Actually i'm thrilled.

This is such a nothing in the big scheme of life .. but it has been bloody hard work emotionally

silly as it may sound or be.. it is still a very very good moment of achievement.